i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
