the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
