My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize