I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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