Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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