Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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