How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
