Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
