oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize