is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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