By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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