i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
