i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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