He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
