I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
