I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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