maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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