Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
