dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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