she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
