i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
