I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize