Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
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