I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
