I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
