ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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