its not stalking. its research.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
