I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
