dude i'm inner monologue high
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
