can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
