you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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