pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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