Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
