Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
