i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
