My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
