He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize