I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
