i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
