everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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