I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
