Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize