She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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