Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
