I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You are the jesus of drinking
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
