dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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