i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
