The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
