She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
