I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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