I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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