his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
