she woke up with a sticky ear
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
