before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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