I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
