So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
