bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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