What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
