with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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