Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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