You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize